team_member_profile
Nuneaton Office
Happiness
Job Title: Head of Security (and Chief Tail-Wagger)
Department: DP’s Financial Advice & Services
Employee: Otis Skywalker
Compensation: Sausages (premium grade only) + Unlimited belly rubs
Awards: Employee of the Month (every month, without contest)
Job Overview:
Otis Skywalker is responsible for maintaining top-tier office security standards by loudly announcing the arrival of all clients with his state-of-the-art barking system. Immediately following the alarm phase, Otis transitions into his secondary role as Director of Warm Welcomes, offering clients enthusiastic tail wags, smiles (yes, actual smiles), and emotional support via head nudges.
Key Responsibilities:
- Provide early-warning bark alerts when clients approach.
- Greet each visitor with maximum tail velocity and joyful enthusiasm.
- Ensure all clients receive the appropriate level of fuss and attention.
- Patrol the office for unattended snacks.
- Monitor staff morale through strategic cuddling.
- Accept treats with professionalism and dignity (ish).
Skills & Qualifications:
- Fluent in Barkish and Tail Wagonomics
- Expert in Human Mood Detection
- 10/10 on the Cuteness Index
- Certified Good Boy (CGP Level: Skywalker Tier)
- Can herd cats (even if they do not appreciate it)
Outside of Office Hours:
When he's not safeguarding the financial future of clients, Otis enjoys:
- UK staycations (preferably beach-based, where sand = joy)
- Chasing balls with Olympic-level determination
- Herding cats (who remain unimpressed)
- Long walks to reflect on his heroic bark duties
- Negotiating advanced sausage compensation packages
Staff Feedback:
“Otis makes every day better.” – Literally Everyone
“He has a better attendance record than the humans.” – HR (probably)
“He’s already been promoted…but there’s nowhere left to go.” – Management
If you’re lucky enough to walk through the doors of DP’s Financial Advice & Services, don’t be alarmed — that’s just Otis doing his job. Please proceed directly to cuddles and treat distribution.
